Tag Archives: Life OF A Jr Rodeo Mom

An Unperfect Life …

Lately I have been struggling – if this is going to be an honest post I have been struggling for a long time, not consistently but this week really put in prospective for me that the struggle is real. I have had a throw your sucker in the dirt kind of week – Two horses got hurt, one with a season ending injury the other well he is the unicorn that is last thread to my friend who passed away (but that is another story for another post). I struggled with one of my orders that I had to get done because I ordered the wrong vinyl (also a human over site on my part, but one I should of caught) I made it work and it still turned out great just wasn’t want I wanted it to be (again the expectation of perfection is ridiculous). I am on a roller coaster with a teenager who I think has the heart of gold but sometimes makes stupid decisions i.e. when I tell her to pack her homework and she forgets it or tells a lie when I already know the answer (this is causing me to want to pull my hair out).

The list could go on and on and on, but what really has me down is the fact that I have allowed that green meanie of jealous to shift my focus from what I should be grateful for to “wow look at what that person has” or “man that person seems to have it all together”. I know what we see on Social Media isn’t reality or is it? I have always wanted to ask someone that I admire (or is that secret jealousy) is your life as perfect as you make it appear to be at rodeo’s and on social media? Do you struggle with the same parenting issues as I do and how do you handle it? Sometimes I even think I have turned into that person who is trying to paint a picture of what I want people to see of my life and not what reality really is.

Cause the reality is I have days (well most days) where I think I am doing it all wrong, I sit back and reflect on some choices I have made and asked myself what in the hell where you thinking? Most of the time my response back to myself is – at the time I thought it was an okayish (see that okayish part) choice to make, but most of my choices were made in hast or in a fit of what my mother refers to a wild horse princess fit because I didn’t get my way or just to put it boldly no longer wanted to deal with the consequences of previous actions that had started to catch up to me.

The one that really has be down is parenting – I am a single parent; my daughter’s dad is non-existent. Last I heard he had married a girl who worked in a massage parlor that concluded your trip with a happy ending. I get reports about his activities via the chain of his family that I still talk too, but other than that we have zero contact with him. He made a brief appearance for a year and then left just like a hurricane leaving me with debt, destruction and a child who still doesn’t fully understand what fully happened.

Parenting as a single parent SUCKS I am the good cop and the bad cop, the coach and the cheerleader and to be honest I hate it! I hate that my mom made me the bad guy when she babysat my daughter for me because truthfully didn’t want to hire a sitter because I wanted money to rodeo or to spend on other things. I hate that when I blow my top I yell (and man I can yell)! I hate that I feel alone in this journey and that my daughter’s life isn’t perfect that she doesn’t have two parents, that I can’t afford to just go out and buy the very best of things, and that emotionally I struggle with the fact that I compare myself to everyone else.

SO yes, the struggle is real I live a very unperfect Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat life! Sometimes I wished I had someone to talk to about it that could give me solid advice without judgement, because let’s be honest we live in a time of judgement. Where people aren’t listening because they care but because as Lou Hotlz put it “90% don’t care and the other 10% are happy you are having problems”. Honestly how sad is that and it is the truth that we relish in seeing others suffer, especially those we feel have wronged us in some way.

So To those who live the “Perfect Life” I salute you, because I don’t live a perfect life and I am not a perfect parent shit I don’t even know if I could be classified as an okayish parent. What I do know is that I struggle daily, I beat myself up and I chew ass a lot because I want better for my daughter. I want her to have that “perfect” life I want her to graduate college, be a good citizen, not be a single parent find the love of her life and get married do what she wants never have to worry about money or paying bills or having enough. I want those things for her and so many others that I know to have a perfect life.

 

With a big sigh of relief, I am happy to have written this down even if now one ever reads it I will have read it to myself and spoken a truth not many will admit to!

 

 

Rodeo Gypsy turned Jr Rodeo Mom ~ The Unperfect Parent and one who lives an Unperfect Life

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How to Survive a Jr Rodeo Weekend …Coffee & Cocktails …

Another weekend gone and another Jr rodeo  under our belt … Its Monday and I am exhausted and happy for my 8-5 desk job it gives me a moment to relax unwind and breath. I would like to say that this weekend provided us with a bunch of wins, but just as rodeo likes to show you that not every time you enter up you will leave a champion.

The key to success as a mom is to stay hydrated ie make sure I have my coffee, plenty of water during the day, and an evening cocktail to unwind. If you have never seen a jr rodeo mom in her natural habitat you definitely are missing out (or maybe your not). I can get slightly wound up – okay a lot wound up – Taylor on the other hand is a care free spirit she tells everyone good luck and asks how there run goes she is a goof ball and is I swear only entered for the social aspect of the adventure. Which in all truth drives me absolutely nuts!

I would like to say I am one of those jr rodeo moms who keeps times knows exactly where her kid falls at the end of her division, but I have absolutely no clue. I do however know that the horse is saddle correctly, splint boots and bell boots are on and that I have the correct day sheet (sometimes). I am starting to learn that I have to let go and make Taylor more accountable at rodeos, or she will never be able to haul and travel on her own. This is going to be hard for me, because I know that she will struggle a bit not because she isn’t smart but because she is a social butterfly and some times she isn’t paying attention (I see us missing a few runs in our future).

So happy Monday – Cheers to Coffee & Cocktails to get us by!

The Rodeo Gypsy turned Jr Rodeo Mom

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Dash Board Dreaming ….

It’s Friday the kick off of Cowboy Christmas and 8 years ago I would be patiently waiting to get off work to load up and head off on a rodeo run … fast forward 8 years later I am still finishing a horse who has yet to enter anything but an Idaho Girls Rodeo and local barrel races. He has yet to experience a “real” rodeo, never ran under the lights or into a set of bucking chute loaded with bulls, but slowly I am keeping the dream alive and will eventually have to bite the bullet and just enter up to see what happens.

I of course have high hopes that he will be the next “Princess” that will help me chase my next round of rodeo dreams you know win Caldwell & Pendleton make the circuit finals and just have a shot at an American Qualifier. WE all have to have dreams … my luck it won’t be me jockeying him at any of these events but the tiny human who hands down rides better than I ever dreamed.

But tonight I won’t be loading up to go to a rodeo or even the Stampede Qualifier, my tiny human will be jumping in with someone else at her shot to run at the big show. Me I will be side hustling to pay for the dream, because at the end of the day I have made it my priority to make sure that the tiny human gets to keep going down the road.

I am hopeful that the side hustle will eventually pay for the added extra to afford that both of us get to go down the road more – because at the end of the day we are all chasing those gold buckle dreams!

Happy Friday!

The Rodeo Gypsy turned Jr. Rodeo Mom

 

 

Third Generation Rodeo Mom

I spent another Mother’s Day with my mom and my daughter.  Not in the traditional “Hallmark” sense that the majority of mothers spend their day.  There was no breakfast in bed, lavish flowers, and/or gifts. We spent our Mother’s Day together, and like so many years before, at a rodeo. We are lucky to be a part of a community that is home to one of the country’s oldest women’s only rodeo associations, The Idaho Girls Rodeo Association.  For as many years as myself and the others who find ourselves as directors can continue the tradition of annually hosting a Mother’s Day Rodeo. A day were generations come together to compete and have fun.

In our family, the big winner is usually the youngest of us, my daughter, Taylor.  She is mounted on the best horses we have, and she shares her good horse with her Nana (sometimes) so that she can compete as well. Me, I ride the young up-and-coming mounts that in a few short years will belong to Taylor or Nana, who ever needs them first.

For once Taylor wasn’t the only “big” winner of the weekend! If you can count placing in the Novice Barrels a big win, in my defense the Novice is just as tough as the open, so a win is a win right? Really Taylor would have been the big winner but struggled in the Barrels & Poles tipping one in each to place, but as my grandpa would have said to me “that’s just rodeo sis”. She however redeemed herself in the goat tying, that is “her” event it’s the one event she full heartily wants to win. The last girl rodeo her goat got up causing her to get a no time, and since then we have been in full redemption mode and it showed! On the nana front well she learned that the old sorrel mare fires hard in the pole bending (I tried to tell her) and that made her decide that even though spanky isn’t going to win her any money she will just stick with Mr. Tried & True!

So Happy Late Mothers Days to all those rodeo mom’s I hope it was spent doing what you love!

**Photo Credit to Jonni Smith of Homedale, Idaho**